Post-op Malaise

Friday, May 24 2012



 Here I sit ten days post-op on the brink of the first holiday weekend of summer. Great weather, golf, bar-b-ques, cold beer and warm conversation are on the menu for most Americans. But not for Johnny. No golfing, no beer and, unless I can figure a way to bar-b-que a protein shake or a Popsicle, I wont be doing any of that either. I never got the memo regarding the fun factor of Lap Band stage one post-op. And I can see why. There is none.



 I don't want to sound whinny, but it might come out that way. It may because I am actually starting to feel better now that I'm a week and half past the surgery. The only remaining pain I have is the area on my abdomen where the access port was sewn directly on to some fleshy part of my innards. But that pain subsides a bit every day.  In a couple of weeks, I won't even know it's there. On top of that, I feel as if I would be able eat some type of regular "people food".  I have been on a liquid diet since the 14th.  Since that time, the only solid food to find it's way through my band has been a couple of mini Altoids, a sugarless Lifesaver, a half of a cashew and a handful of oyster crackers. At one point I actually sucked the salt off a potato chip just to taste something normal. This is ... by far ... the longest I have ever gone without eating. My old record was 3 hours. When I get to 14 days of liquids next Wednesday, it will be a Johnny World Record.  Shall I alert the media?

We've discussed my lapses in focus before. It's becoming more apparent to me now that I did do a lot of very harmful "boredom munching" in the past.  This was discussed in my sessions with Mind Dr. L.  I remember her asking me the  "why do you eat" question.  I think I looked at her like she had a green head at the time.  But now I guess I have to come clean. She was right.  If I get bored, I eat. And not rabbit food.  I could slaughter a hefty bag of Fritos in 30 minutes tops.  Funny that I mention Fritos here.  Fritos was never one of my go-to snacks.  In fact, I don't think I've crunched a Frito in several years. Yet strangely enough, after ten days of liquids, the one thing I've been hankering for is a Frito.  Kinda the fat ass guy version of pregnancy cravings. Is pickles & ice cream next?

That's the update for now.  I am recovering as expected and expect to be swinging a golf club next week. Also the next big change comes Wednesday .... smashie foods! I'll have to inquire with the bubbly Ms. K if it's OK for me to frappe some Fritos in some type of cheese sauce.

Check back next week! Until then, have a BBQ hamburger and cold beer on me.

JT

NOTE: As always, pardon the grammar and misspells.  I am self-editing which is not my strong point.