Hellooo fellow fat fighters! Welcome back to my warped world of wobble. It's true I don't see things the way the most people do. Some call it weird. Some call it inappropriate. Some like it. Some don't. But I call it the way I see it. Through my own pair of kaleidoscopic glasses. If you're a liker, read on for more of my magical mushroom musings. If you're a hater, stick around anyway. I might publicly embarrass myself. Again.
Anyhoo .... Let's start with a few facts for newer readers. This can also refresh the jellies that my loyal readers call brains. Hey, if you're hanging around this blog, your power of cognitive thinking is probably lacking that of a confused hamster. Or you obviously don't have anything better to do. Either way, Let's all assume that the overall retention rate of my readers is, well ... what were we talking about? Oh, yeah .. right. A little recap.
Here ya' go.
December 2012 - Couldn't fit my fat ass in a plane seat. Almost needed the belt extender. Realized I had a weight problem.
January 2013 - Had my 1st consultation for Lap Band surgery. Was hoping to get it done in a week.
February / March 2013 - Saw doctors and shrink. Had Farewell to Food Tour. Fought insurance company.
April 8, 2013 - Level 3 pants explode. Started emergency diet. Fought with insurance company.
May 15, 2013 - Had Lap Band surgery
May 16, 2013 - Started new life.
Last April 8th, I hit the scale at 254.5 pounds. This may not sound like a whole lot to some with similar struggles. But I am of smaller stature. This weight put my BMI at 43! I was a short biggun! Had there been a remake of the Wizard of OZ, I would have gotten the Mayor of Munchinville part hands down! However, since there was no hope of a munchkin comeback, I knew I had to get started, regardless of my doctor's or insurance company's schedules.
My emergency diet worked. My Lap Band is working. My new lifestyle is working. It's all coming together. I set a goal for myself of 169 pounds. Today's scale visit shouted 179 pounds. I am 10 pounds away from my original goal. If I can lose about 1 pound a week, that will put me at goal right around my Bandiversary on May 15. That would be Mission Accomplished.
As awesome as it will be to hit that goal, that is not my current mindset. First of all, if my goal is 169, I damn well better get down to 165. All dieters know that there will be upward fluctuations upon return to a normal food life. I certainly don't want to get all giddy at 169, have a party and wake up the next day at 173. That would be muy depressing. So for what it's worth, I have decided to play this thing out for the rest of the year. I am going to continue doing what I am doing as far as food, drink and exercise and let the chips fall where they may. If I get down to the 150s by then, maybe Santa will bring me a new wardrobe.
Via Con Dios!
Johnny T
Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:
mccgolfer99@gmail.com
I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!
Stop by my blog:
TheDeconstructionOfJohnny.blogspot.com
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Did I Fall Off the Wagon?
Hi all!
I'm back from my 8 day retreat in the valley of the sun! After suffering through a BRUTAL Chicago winter, I was excited and relieved to get out of town for a LOT of rest and relation. Notice I did not say a little r & r. Nope. Other than checking with the office a few times during the week, I focused on nuthin' but sun, golf and partying.
I was freaking out about my weight before I left on this trip. I had tried like heck to break the 180 barrier before I got on the plane. That didn't work out. I left about 2.5 pounds over that mini goal. Well, this made me freak even more during my vacation. I knew there was no way I could follow my plan. Everyday was filled with nice breakfasts, wonderful lunches, outstanding dinners and, of course, adult beverages of every variety. I was in trouble.
Instead of throwing in the towel and going on an eating and drinking binge, I decided to go with the flow. But ... I was smart about it. I used smart food choices all week. I really limited any breads, potatoes and pastas. I ate fish as much as possible, even in the fancy steak joints. I steered pretty clear of sweets and deserts. I ate protein bars and SkinnyPop for snacks when available. I tried to make sure I ate something healthy about every 3 hours. I walked as much as I could. Even the seven rounds of golf I played using a cart, still required me to walk about 3.5 miles each round.
This brings us to the adult beverage portion of our story. Did I abstain from beer, vodka and wine? Hell no. I was on vacation with a bunch of adults. It's part of the deal. It's part of enjoying life. Did I over do it? Hell no. I had 2 beers during the week. I've been hankering for a frosty Corona with a lime for months. So I had a couple. I had a few vodkas and soda every day. No sugary juices or mixes. I had a few glasses of fine wine during the week. So, yes I imbibed. But no, I did not drink like a sailor on a three day leave.
I got on the plane coming home resigned to the fact that I would probably hit 185 on the scale on Monday morning. Anything over that would piss me off. I didn't want to start my week back to work in a bad mood, so I decided to not weigh in for a week. This would give me time to lose those vacation pounds and ease my fat fears. But, I couldn't do it. I had to know. I pulled out my fancy fitbit scale this morning and jumped on. Ready for a deserved kick in the nuts. Imagine my surprise when my friendly fitbit scale told me I weighed 181. 3! Less than when I left. This is a SCALE victory.
My fancy fitbit scale gave me more than just good news on my weight. It showed me that I can go on a vacation and enjoy myself like a normal thin person. It gave me a glimpse into my future. Someday I will move to the maintenance side of this project. And this is will be my life. As long as I make healthy food choices, drink moderately and stay active, I can maintain. This is what normal people do. And that's what this whole journey has been about. Being normal. BTW, is it normal to crave margaritas? I'll have to ask a skinny person.
See ya soon.
jt
Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:
mccgolfer99@gmail.com
I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!
I'm back from my 8 day retreat in the valley of the sun! After suffering through a BRUTAL Chicago winter, I was excited and relieved to get out of town for a LOT of rest and relation. Notice I did not say a little r & r. Nope. Other than checking with the office a few times during the week, I focused on nuthin' but sun, golf and partying.
I was freaking out about my weight before I left on this trip. I had tried like heck to break the 180 barrier before I got on the plane. That didn't work out. I left about 2.5 pounds over that mini goal. Well, this made me freak even more during my vacation. I knew there was no way I could follow my plan. Everyday was filled with nice breakfasts, wonderful lunches, outstanding dinners and, of course, adult beverages of every variety. I was in trouble.
Instead of throwing in the towel and going on an eating and drinking binge, I decided to go with the flow. But ... I was smart about it. I used smart food choices all week. I really limited any breads, potatoes and pastas. I ate fish as much as possible, even in the fancy steak joints. I steered pretty clear of sweets and deserts. I ate protein bars and SkinnyPop for snacks when available. I tried to make sure I ate something healthy about every 3 hours. I walked as much as I could. Even the seven rounds of golf I played using a cart, still required me to walk about 3.5 miles each round.
This brings us to the adult beverage portion of our story. Did I abstain from beer, vodka and wine? Hell no. I was on vacation with a bunch of adults. It's part of the deal. It's part of enjoying life. Did I over do it? Hell no. I had 2 beers during the week. I've been hankering for a frosty Corona with a lime for months. So I had a couple. I had a few vodkas and soda every day. No sugary juices or mixes. I had a few glasses of fine wine during the week. So, yes I imbibed. But no, I did not drink like a sailor on a three day leave.
I got on the plane coming home resigned to the fact that I would probably hit 185 on the scale on Monday morning. Anything over that would piss me off. I didn't want to start my week back to work in a bad mood, so I decided to not weigh in for a week. This would give me time to lose those vacation pounds and ease my fat fears. But, I couldn't do it. I had to know. I pulled out my fancy fitbit scale this morning and jumped on. Ready for a deserved kick in the nuts. Imagine my surprise when my friendly fitbit scale told me I weighed 181. 3! Less than when I left. This is a SCALE victory.
My fancy fitbit scale gave me more than just good news on my weight. It showed me that I can go on a vacation and enjoy myself like a normal thin person. It gave me a glimpse into my future. Someday I will move to the maintenance side of this project. And this is will be my life. As long as I make healthy food choices, drink moderately and stay active, I can maintain. This is what normal people do. And that's what this whole journey has been about. Being normal. BTW, is it normal to crave margaritas? I'll have to ask a skinny person.
See ya soon.
jt
Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:
mccgolfer99@gmail.com
I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Hey Doc! Make Up Your Mind
Greetings again fellow fat fighters.
Here's another update for you to chew on. I visited Dr. X this past Monday. In short, I left the Center for Fat-ass-i-ness more confused than I have been since my surgery. I'll get to that in a minute. First, let's take a look a the numbers.
The doc was running late so I sat in the waiting area for an hour. I was remarkably calm considering my inbred flaw of impatience. Plus, I didn't want to get my blood pressure boiling and fail my impending BP check. Finally, the massive doors swung opened and a new nurse summoned me in. She has me sit down and proceeds to tell me she's a little "new". First thing she does is take my BP. After fumbling around with the armband thingy, she pumps it up and takes the reading.
"165 over 115" she tells me.
Well, I just had my BP checked 3 days ago at my chiropractor and it was stellar.
"Ma'am", I say, "you gotta be doing something wrong. If that's my BP you'd better call a crash cart right now!"
I think she was a little pissed that I made her do it again. Her problem, not mine. She re-fumbled with the armband thingy, pumped it up and then gave me the news.
"114 over 67. I must have missed something."
No shit Sherlock. I'm not a nurse nor do I play one on TV, but even I would know something was wrong there. She must have graduated from the Obamacare School of Medicine.
After the BP charade, we moved to the super sized fat ass scale. She recorded the kilogram weight and escorted me into the exam room to wait for Dr. X. After another 20 minute wait, he entered in his usual good mood. We kibitzed for a few minutes then when on to our business.
Weight loss since Feb. 3 ( 4 weeks) - a paltry 2 pounds. I guess I'll take it. I was gone for a week on a vodka binge and had a few other social commitments in between. Dr. X is happy with it, me not so much. I made my next appoint for 6 weeks out. I told him I wanted to lose another 5 pounds by the end of April. I also shared with him my frustration with the plateauing I been experiencing weekly. He then gives me his insight which lead to my confusion.
"You've lost a LOT of weight. The weight will be coming off slower now.Your BMI is now 31. Anything in the 20s is what we want. After that it's up to you where you want to be" he tells me.
I had to ask. "Wasn't it just last month you told me you wanted me to get to a BMI of 25 and weigh about 150 pounds?"
"It's up to you how far you want to go and what you think is best for you."
Wow. Now it's up to me again. I'll have to take some time to discern this new information. My original goal was 169. Let me get there first and then we'll talk. I'm thinking my body will tell me when it's time to end the losing phase and move to the maintenance phase. I still gotta get rid of some of this midriff bulge I'm dealing with. Then we can talk about maintenance. I can do maintenance. After all, it's just a diet with alcohol.
So long for now!
Johnny T
I'll be back to you in a couple of weeks. I'm off to the desert for some sun & golf. Of course I'll be eating out every day and enjoying my share of adult beverages. Here's hoping I can maintain my weight ... again.
Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:
mccgolfer99@gmail.com
I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!
Here's another update for you to chew on. I visited Dr. X this past Monday. In short, I left the Center for Fat-ass-i-ness more confused than I have been since my surgery. I'll get to that in a minute. First, let's take a look a the numbers.
The doc was running late so I sat in the waiting area for an hour. I was remarkably calm considering my inbred flaw of impatience. Plus, I didn't want to get my blood pressure boiling and fail my impending BP check. Finally, the massive doors swung opened and a new nurse summoned me in. She has me sit down and proceeds to tell me she's a little "new". First thing she does is take my BP. After fumbling around with the armband thingy, she pumps it up and takes the reading.
"165 over 115" she tells me.
Well, I just had my BP checked 3 days ago at my chiropractor and it was stellar.
"Ma'am", I say, "you gotta be doing something wrong. If that's my BP you'd better call a crash cart right now!"
I think she was a little pissed that I made her do it again. Her problem, not mine. She re-fumbled with the armband thingy, pumped it up and then gave me the news.
"114 over 67. I must have missed something."
No shit Sherlock. I'm not a nurse nor do I play one on TV, but even I would know something was wrong there. She must have graduated from the Obamacare School of Medicine.
After the BP charade, we moved to the super sized fat ass scale. She recorded the kilogram weight and escorted me into the exam room to wait for Dr. X. After another 20 minute wait, he entered in his usual good mood. We kibitzed for a few minutes then when on to our business.
Weight loss since Feb. 3 ( 4 weeks) - a paltry 2 pounds. I guess I'll take it. I was gone for a week on a vodka binge and had a few other social commitments in between. Dr. X is happy with it, me not so much. I made my next appoint for 6 weeks out. I told him I wanted to lose another 5 pounds by the end of April. I also shared with him my frustration with the plateauing I been experiencing weekly. He then gives me his insight which lead to my confusion.
"You've lost a LOT of weight. The weight will be coming off slower now.Your BMI is now 31. Anything in the 20s is what we want. After that it's up to you where you want to be" he tells me.
I had to ask. "Wasn't it just last month you told me you wanted me to get to a BMI of 25 and weigh about 150 pounds?"
"It's up to you how far you want to go and what you think is best for you."
Wow. Now it's up to me again. I'll have to take some time to discern this new information. My original goal was 169. Let me get there first and then we'll talk. I'm thinking my body will tell me when it's time to end the losing phase and move to the maintenance phase. I still gotta get rid of some of this midriff bulge I'm dealing with. Then we can talk about maintenance. I can do maintenance. After all, it's just a diet with alcohol.
So long for now!
Johnny T
I'll be back to you in a couple of weeks. I'm off to the desert for some sun & golf. Of course I'll be eating out every day and enjoying my share of adult beverages. Here's hoping I can maintain my weight ... again.
Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:
mccgolfer99@gmail.com
I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!
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