Phew! A Tough Stretch Negotiated

I am back!

Was I out of town? Was I called away on a crucial business trip? Did I get lost in the woods? Was I kidnapped by an over zealous fat fan? The answers are .... No, no, no and no.

I was in town all right.  But I was sure off the Lap Band radar screen.

The last 10 days may have been the longest so far since I started my fat fight that I have been away from the comforts of my eating regiment. You see, I have been in golfer's paradise.  Ten straight days of chasing a little white ball all in the name of customer satisfaction and charity. Sure, golf is a fun filled getaway.  But 10 days in a row? Truth be told, it got to be a bit grueling.

I can hear all of you shouting "poor guy had to play golf for 10 days ....awwww". I'm not complaining. I would do it again next week if I had to. But I would not want to. I was completely exhausted by Saturday night.  But I learned a couple of valuable lessons during this past golf-a-thon.

The first thing I learned is that my new body is much more able to handle the physicality of walking, swinging and handling the heat than it was previously.  I don't think the formerly fat Johnny could have done it. I might have died from overexertion, heat exhaustion, or a bad case of thigh chaffing. Yep, I was ready for this. I handled it probably better than most men my age. Between walking and riding, I still managed to put close to 40 miles on my petite feet.

The next thing I learned is of equal importance. I learned that I could be away from my home base in the fat bunker and eat like a normal person and not have a devastating weight gain. When I say eat normal, I mean normal for a guy watching his weight. I made the best food choices available to me at every meal. Cheeseburgers with all the trimmins' on a sesame bun? No. A hamburger patty with a slice of cheese, a little onion and tomato topped with low calorie mustard? Bring it on! Pasta salad...nope. Cookies ... nope. Heat beating ice cream ... unfortunately not.  I opted for a fresh fruit smoothie.  With just a touch of rum.

The week-plus adventure did have a shocking scale moment. I actually panicked one morning when my scale showed I had a 4 pound swing upward. I was shocked.  It had to be the  alcohol forcing my body to take on water like a ship with a hole in the hull. So Sunday came and I started drinking more water. It worked. I'm glad to say that this morning I weighed in at 172.5.  A loss of a pound through this period and a mere 3 pounds from the 160's. Victory.

I guess the other thing I learned is that when I retire I can't play golf everyday like I have always dreamed of doing.  I'll need another hobby to occupy my off days.  Fishing? Maybe. Jogging? Doubtful.

See ya next time.

Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:
mccgolfer99@gmail.com
I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog! 

The 3 Pound Swing

Hello again fat fans.  It's time for another quick update from the fat bunker.

Let's get this out of the way FIRST.  No, I did not hit my goal. I am still 3-5 pounds away from my holy grail. That's what brings me to today's topic: The 3 pound swing.

You probably were puzzled when I told you I was 3 to 5 pounds away from goal. How can that be you wonder. The reason is the 3 pound swing. Every morning when I hit my fancy FitBit scale and await my daily dose of euphoria or disappointment, I am faced with numbers that don't make sense. One morning I am at 172.5, just 3 pounds shy of this dieter's ecstasy, the next marooning I'm at 175. Another 6 pounds to go. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to my fluctuations of flab.

The most frustrating feelings hit me during the morning weigh in following a day when I stuck to the script. Meaning I stayed within my 1200-1400 calories, did my exercises, drank my fluids AND still show a gain.  That really frosts my privates. Being a typical man, I am always looking for instant gratification. It is bad enough not to lose any weight when I'm a good boy, but it's really a downer to show a gain.  What's a guy to do?

There is one thing I know for sure. If I stray off the plan with a few cocktails and a couple of meals out over the weekend, I am guaranteed to show the full 3 pound swing on Monday morning. It doesn't matter that I walked 10 miles and made good food choices.  If I have those cocktails, I'm in for a rude awaking on the Monday morning weigh in.  I know now why my weight loss muse, LapBand Girl, only weighs in on Fridays. Once I get to the promised land that's what I'm gonna do too. Weigh in one day a week on Friday.

Because of the 3 pound swing, us fat fighters need to remember that you goal really isn't your goal. Our real goal needs to be at least 5 pounds under our original goal. We need to plan for the swings. There is no avoiding them for any weight maintenance endeavor. So fat fighters... GO LOW!

Summer's full bloom and my constant plateauing, have made the last month a little tough to bare. I sneaked down to 2.5 pounds away and bounced back to 5 pounds away. I'll keep working out and walking and watching what goes in to my big trap and keep hoping for a breakthrough.  When I hit that magic number, ya'll will be the first to know. After my neighbors of course.  They will have to put up with the early morning hooping and hollering.

More to come.

J

Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:

mccgolfer99@gmail.com

I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog! 

T Minus 3.5 and Counting

Greetings and salutations to all from the fat bunker.

My journey to rid my body of oodles of excess blubber and reduce my ass to normal size is entering the home stretch. My fancy FitBit scale told me I am only 3.5 pounds of my original goal of 169 pounds! This is FACT, not FATasy. In an average run-of-the-mill life, I could knock this out in a month.  I could hit the 169 by Independence Day. But mine is not a typical life.

While the finish line is definitely in sight, the final passage is fraught with obstacles. We are, of course, speaking of my challenging social life. My goal would be much more attainable if I sat at home, counted my calories and did my workouts. But life calls! After a brutal winter and harsh spring, it's time to get out and enjoy the few months of nice weather we get in these parts. That means dining out, hanging with  ultra thin foodies and doing the dance with Al C. Hall at least a few times a week.  Throw in the fact that I have guests coming in from out of town for a 4 day golf and food bacchanalia in the middle of the month, my challenges are enormous. Maybe I should just strive to achieve no weight gain during this period instead of focusing on a loss. Or maybe I just keep doing what I'm doing and let the chips fall.

Although I have greatly changed my lifestyle as far as food and drinking are concerned, I still imbibe things that I know will impede my weight loss. I always try and make the best food choices that are available to me at the time. Unfortunately, the prevailing host or chef does not always consider that a struggling fatass may be partaking of the provided fare. So great food choices are not always an option.  Sometimes you gotta go with the best of the worst. Case in point.  Last weekend I was at an outing.  I hadn't eaten all day, I was starving. A buffet was offered with greasy burgers, brats and some type of fried chicken. But then I saw a little station right around the corner serving fish tacos. I woofed down a couple of those to try and keep with the plan. It would have been easy to grab a bun and slimy cheeseburger (and God knows I wanted one!). But the fish tacos did the trick.  Not 100% on the plan, but passable in a pinch. That worked this time.

When I am out of fat bunker, I constantly have to make the right choices when it comes to any food or drink. Constantly. Did I say always? This all goes back to what we talked about before. Our food culture.  Everything grown ups do usually ends up with a barbecue, dinner out, beers, drinks or a pizza.  Just not a good place for a struggling fatass to be. But, hey, life happens! So I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna eat the right stuff when I can and I'm definitely gonna have a few adult beverages here and there. I may be eating a piece of salmon and a salad accompanied by a light white wine, but you will all know that I will be lusting for a greasy cheeseburger, fries and jumbo Margarita. With salt. Let's just keep this our little secret.

Until next time,
Johnny

Fat Fanatics! Email your comments and questions to:

mccgolfer99@gmail.com

I will answer all questions and, who knows, your pithy comments might make the blog!