(Note: I am pretty much always on the edge of my chair due to my overflowing posterior. No special fat ass chairs here.)
Dr. X's assistant warned me that the the insurance company has 30 full days to make a ruling. That would give them to around April 12 for my approval. His assistant also told me it usually takes about 2 weeks. That would mean that I could hear this week. THAT would be awesome!
Ya know, I'm really in the dark here as to the how, what and when of this life changing procedure. I have many questions. For instance, when (if) we get the OK, do we automatically schedule the surgery for 2 weeks later? Or is the doctor booked up? How long is he booked up? How long is the usual wait past approval? These are fair questions. I have pretty much put my life on hold waiting for the surgery. Don't get me wrong. I'm OK with that. Other than certain job and special social related obligations, I can pretty much sit around and wait. But I don't want to. I just want to get this scheduled and get on with it. I had that fictitious goal date of April 22 in my head, but truth be told, that will be hard to hit. For that to happen, I would have to hear by this Friday, March 29. Then I could start the 2 week pre-op diet on April 8th when I get back from the Florida trip. Hey, I'm GOOD with that! But I don't think the medical wheels turn that fast. I have a feeling they are not as anxious to get this done as I am. So I have come to another decision.
I have decided to officially end my "Farewell to Food" tour on the Tuesday I get back from FLA!
I called Dr. X's assistant today and informed her that I was officially suspending my tour on Monday, April 8. I also told her I would be starting the required 2 week pre-op diet on Tuesday the 9th. So should she get the OK and Dr. X has it open, Wednesday, April 24 is my preferred GO DAY. She said she would make a note of it and promised to call my insurance company to see if she can hurry things up a bit.
So there it sports fans.... We are going proactive! I actually got this idea from a fellow "bandster". He told me something like "ya gotta bring the fight to them!". I know it's a bit melodramatic, but you get the picture.
I needed to make my final appointment with the nutritionist. I need to get the instructions on the pre-op diet and also buy their recommend protein supplements. I'm sure it's a bit of a money grab for them, but it's only a couple hundred bucks. If it works like they say, it will be worth it. Next call, The bubbly Ms. K. Let's see what she has open.
She actually answered when I called.
"Hey, Ms. K. It's Johnny here."
"Well how are you" she asks in her distinct cheese head twang.
"I'm doing just peachy Ms. K. I have big news for you!"
" You got approved! Yay!" she replies jubilantly.
"Ah no. Bigger news. I have decided to officially end my FTF tour on Monday, April 8!"
"What is a FTF tour?" she inquires.
Because in my own little fantasy world I believe this is national news, I'm flabbergasted that she is not fully versed on this. So I axed her:
"You mean you haven't heard about my Farewell To Food tour? What... do live under a rock or something?"
"Farwell to food, huh? That brings up a question I have for you."
"Shoot." I say.
So she shoots back. "Didn't we talk about you starting to watch your food intake and start cutting back at our first meeting? In fact, didn't you tell me that you were "dialing it down"?
Oh-oh. Busted.
"Yeah, well about that." I sheepishly replied as I started to grasp for something to say. So I come up with this:
"Well, I really mean it this time."
What you guys don't believe me either?
I made an appointment with Ms. K for next Monday. I will be getting the debriefing on my debeefing. I will be buying her special Fat Ass Fusion and leaving with my marching orders.
So here's where we are:
FTF end date set - CHECK
Pressure on Dr. X - CHECK
Final meeting with nutritionist - CHECK
Pre-op diet start date - CHECK
Target Surgery date - CHECK
Final insurance approval - Well, 5 otta 6 ain't bad. If it was Lotto, I would get a few grand.
I will talk to you next week.
jt
PS I want to thank a couple of loyal readers, The Rock and The Godfather, for their very generous gift of a shiny new airline seat belt extender. My name is even engraved on it. Very funny boys. Remember, payback is a Bee-atch!
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