The Waiting is the Hardest Part

ATTN: New Visitors!  Start with the first post.  I wouldn't want you to miss anything!

I guess I'm ripping off another famous rock star with this title. With apologies to Mr. Petty and the Heartbreakers, I find this verse from your 1981 classic song most apropos. The waiting, is indeed, the hardest part. 

Dr. X's office called me today and let me know that the doctor has approved my "package" and sent it on to the Howdowenotpay Insurance company for final approval! YEA!  Dr. X's assistant also let me know that my insurance company has 30 days to approve or deny my request. But, she also told me that it usually takes a couple weeks. So I remain in lap band purgatory.  Somewhere between a massive zipper explosion and a return to my wardrobes of old. (I got some great Jordache jeans and a Members Only jacket put away somewhere ...)

The waiting is killing me. Because, as we all know, I am in the middle of my farewell tour of fabulous foods, scrumptious  snacks, decadent desserts, beautiful beers, luscious liquors and wonderful wines.
Time is running out. So now I rationalize every wonderful meal, every Oreo, every cashew, every bite of fattening fare by proclaiming "This could be the last time I eat this!".  The end needs to come soon. I have recently savoured several of my cherished food staples for the last time... at least 6 times already.

Soon I shall bid adieu to the ambrosia of life.
Farewell French fries ...
So long steak ...
Arrivederci antipasto ....
Hasta la vista Hagen Das ...
Toodle-oo Tostinos ...
Goodbye Golden Arches ...

May a pox fall on Morton's, Gibson's and Capitol Grill!
May the fat gods descend a fiery wrath upon Portillo's and Augustino's!
May the Burger King be dethroned!
And  .... may Gene finally leave Jude!

Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow. Or should I say sweet and sour. 

Perhaps it's time to look forward and think of what might come to pass if this cockamamie idea really works. Should I look into the future and see what my life might look like a year from now?... Dare I ?

Let's look into my crystal ball ....

I'm sleeping on a beach ... and I'm not worrying about the native kids spray painting Bob Marley murals on my stomach again like last year. AWESOME! (That paint is hard to get off.)

The custom pants guys  isn't trying to hide when he sees me coming at the AZ golf tournament.

The horse isn't quitting in the middle of my carriage ride. (Boy, That was embarrassing.)

I'm not getting the "hope he isn't sittin' next to me" look on a flight to Hawaii. (Wow! Hawaii, that's cool.)

I am not be charged for refilling the pool at the Ritz after my patented cannonball dive. (Very pricey!)

My mattress no longer has an indentation forcing me to  roll to the middle.

WOW. The possibilities are endless.

Seriously,  It will take me a while to wrap my head around the whole outcome thing because I really haven't thought that far ahead.  I have been so focused on just getting this done, that I have not had a chance to explore the "what ifs" of success.  Besides many times "what ifs" only lead to disappointment.   I think it's better just to laser in on the immediate obstacles and overcome them first. If I follow the doctor's orders, the chips fall where they will fall.

I will be going on a FINAL FINAL fling to Florida for a few days in the near future.  I have cleared my schedule after that trip for the rest of the summer. I am forgoing a company paid trip to VEGAS BABY, another man trip to a private island in the Bahamas, and assorted other cool getaways because I will be in a total wait and see mode.  I will sit and wait for the surgery date. Once we have that date, we go on the countdown.  14 days of severely limited food intake in preparation for the surgery. Then surgery.  Then recovery. Then smashed up food for 4 weeks.

I am not straying far from my home base until I have a good handle on how to adjust to my new life.  So don't look for me at t your backyard bar-b-cue this summer. It just wouldn't be proper for me to be upchucking on your guests.

Stay Tuned for THE COUNTDOWN! You'll know when I know.

Peace out,

jt