The Final Hoops

ATTN: New Visitors!  Start with the first post at the bottom of the page.  I wouldn't want you to miss anything!

Like the Cajuns say, "ya gotta git done what needs donin."

I have a handful more doctors and counselors to see before Dr. X reviews my application and sends it off to my insurance company.  I want to make sure it's in fast and correct. My personal farewell tour is costing me additional unwanted pounds. Its really not good to have the "It's OK to eat this and drink that" mentality while I'm in this lap band purgatory.  But, I have it none the less. I have been trying everything one more time as if it's the last. I don't want to be found comatose the day before my surgery with a box of Krispy Kremes in one hand and Big Mac in the other. That's not a good way to approach this. I do realize that I cannot keep this up.

Back to the final hoops... The morning after I saw Mind Dr. L, I headed off the see my primary, Good Ol' Doc Z for a complete blood work up and physical. I needed him to sign off that I'm OK for surgery and have no restrictions on exercise activity.

Good Ol' Doc Z got me right in, started asking me the normal questions and then saw the request form from Dr. X regarding the lap band surgery.

"Wow.. you're really gonna do this, huh?" he asked me.
"That's my plan Doc. If my insurance company ponies up the dough and I can last another 90 days without exploding, I'm gonna go for it."
He then added, "Normally I would encourage you to try other methods, but I know you've be struggling with your weight for a while, so I think it will be a good thing for you. I also know a few people that have had this done and it worked well for them."

More good news and reason to move forward.

Doc Z put me through the normal battery of tests and mercifully spared me from the the finger date. So I was out of there with the signed consent letter and my OK for exercise in an hour. My blood tests came back two days later and were all good. 

The following week I had the appointment to meet the exercise guru, Trainer L.  I had to be at the BC (bariatric center) 15 minutes early to fill out some forms and answer some more questions "truthfully."
After my name was called, I followed the previously mentioned marm to an office behind the doors.  Soon enough Trainer L came in and introduced herself.

After answering a myriad of questions regarding my current workout schedule (that took two seconds) we proceeded to discuss what I should be / will be doing exercisewise after the surgery. I listened carefully, all the time wondering when I was going to do all this exercising.  Does she know I have a full time job?.  
"Do you think you can dedicate yourself and meet these goals?" she asked.
"I will do my best."
"Mr.T," she said
Here comes the lecture.
"You will not be successful at this unless you burn more calories than you take in."
"I get it." I said, "but, honestly, you're asking me to go from zero to 60 in about two seconds here. I think I am going to need to work up to it."
"You will do it!" she exclaims in a cheerleader voice.
"OK! But please remember. I'm just trying to fit back in my pants and not trying out for the Olympics."
"Very well. Give your best effort and we'll leave it at that."

She then had me remove my shoes and socks and stand a scale looking machine with what looked like handlebars off my old Harley.

"Place your feet exactly in those spots and hold on to these handles."
I did as I was told wondering all along what the heck this contraption did. A bunch of lights kept blinking and then a tone after about 60 seconds. She the pressed a button and a sheet of paper came out of an attached printer.

"What was that all about?" I asked.
She went into a long explanation of what this thing does and why it's is so important.  I just hear the cash register ringing.  I'm sure that little horsey ride is gonna cost me.

We sat back down and went over my report from the machine. She told me I burn 1580 calories a day without doing anything and that my body was about 50% fat.

"Not bad." I said. "I was expecting to be about 90% fat, 8% vodka and 2% old bones."

"No, that would be impossible." she chimed back.

"So you say.  I think I could get the the vodka percentage up to 20% with very little effort."

I'm done with this conversation. All this talk about working out is making me hungry.

I finished up with Trainer L and left the office with another folder of directions.  That's 3 folders of directions in total now. I have a lot of reading to do.

Over the next 2 weeks I successfully completed my entire checklist.  All my documents are in one stack and waiting to be review and approved by Dr. X.   After he reviews everything and approves it, it's off to the Howdowenotpay Company for final approval. I should hear early next week if the doctor approved it or if there are any missing pieces.

The 6 weeks between the initial consultation and the final hoop jump has sure been a grind.  With any luck, I will get the OK from the insurance company in a couple weeks and set the surgery date for around April 22.  That's my goal.  I don't know if I can take7 more weeks of this.  I know my pants can't.

I'm off to a golf rendezvous in the desert.  Another obligation of mine being the President of the PGA (Professional Guests of America).  You can keep up with me on Facebook while I'm away.  There are always some cool people at this tournament and I will try to get some pictures for you.

More to come later in March!

Hasta la vista!
jt