The Check List -

ATTN: New Visitors!  Start with the first post at the bottom of the page.  I wouldn't want you to miss anything!

And so we move on. The Monday only working Dr. X has left the office! Upon his suave departure, I return my focus to the comfort of  the fat ass chair. These chairs ... Brilliant!
Enter Nurse Ratchit. She returns with folder in hand and seats herself in the chair previously occupied by Dr. X. She places the folder on the table, opens it and declares, "Let's go over your checklist. It is your responsibility to complete these items so that your package can be sent to your insurance company for approval. The approval process takes two to five weeks once all completed records are sent.  So the timing of your surgery is all based on how quick you can get these items completed."

Oh boy. My initial research was just about the surgery and benefits and the possible side effects.  I really wasn't prepared for all the hoops I had to jump through.  Once again, I really have to focus and commit to this. And just an FYI, I am bad at commitments and lack focus when it comes to doing things I don't like or am not interested in. Quite frankly, I started losing focus and getting bored with this appointment right after my fascination with the fat ass chairs subsided.  Like most men, I can razor focus on work, sports and sex.  Other than that, I tend to be like a two year old at Toy R Us. So all this adult talk about surgery and responsibility is really pushing my limits. But, muster on I must!

"Yes ma'am. I get it." I told her feigning my piqued interest. "let's see your little shopping list."

She slid the paper across the desk and twirled it around. She went over each one thoroughly and presented me the list for my keeping.  In short:

-Letter from primary care physician stating there are no medical obstacles to bariatric surgery.
-Release from same doctor that I have no limitations to exercise after surgery
-Psychological clearance for bariatric surgery
-Complete blood test with all the trimmings
-Consultation with BC in house exercise specialist
-Monthly consecutive weight recordings and meetings with Dietitian /Nutritionist.
-Attend two Bariatric support group meetings
and finally, the Pièce de résistance,
an in-depth questionnaire that needs to be filled out by me and my insurance company.
Awesome! More quality time with Rajeeve at the Howdowenotpay company.

She handed me the whole folder with the shopping list enclosed.
"It's in your hands Mr. T. Please check with Ms. J, Dr. X's assistant after you complete each step to make sure she has the results and proper sign offs. She will be sending your completed package to your insurance company."

"I'll get started forthwith!" I proclaimed with an exaggerated hand gesture. And I did.

The next morning, I sat at my desk and opened my calendar. Let me start at the top and wok my way down.

First one, EASY! I have a yearly physical with my very cordial primary doctor, Doc Z. He's easy to deal with, pretty easy to get in to see and gives me great guidance. I called his office and told the receptionist what I needed.  She promised to talk to Dr. Z and call me back.  She did that afternoon. Doc Z wanted me to get another physical and he could see me next Friday. Cool. Other than the finger thing, I can cruise through this. Appointment set. I can cross #1 and 2 off my list.

Next, Psych eval. This should be a treat. I have never been to shrink before. I'm thinking that she will either think I'm a perfectly sane fat guy or a certified fat ass lunatic.  I don't see a lot of gray area here. I called and got an appointment for the following Thursday, the day before the physical with Doc Z. I  was told to fill out the questionnaire that will be emailed to me completely and truthfully. Again with the truthfully.  These doctors definitely have trust issues.     #3 off my list.

#4 is the blood panel which Doc Z will handle. Moving right along to the workout queen. Since I need to see the nutritionist 3 times, I made an appointment with Trainer L for mid February, scheduled for right after another 5 day work / golf / drinking / eating bonanza with my man friends.  I guess you could call it a MANanza! Anyway, on to # 6.

We have already met my dietitian / nutritionist, the bubbly Ms. K at the consultation. She's got a cute way about her. She kinda reminds me of Underdog's girlfriend Sweet Polly Purebred. I actually had a childhood friend who thought Polly Purebred was hot.  I thought it odd that that a kid could get the hots for a cartoon character. Really? And why Polly Purebred. She was a dog for crissake!  What about Betty Rubble in that tantalizing short skirt she always wore? That's hot. And human. Weird dude. The guy's probably got some type of unholy crush on  Lois Griffin these days.  Sorry, I digress. I called Ms. K and scheduled our 2nd meeting for mid February.Yes, second meeting the consultation counted as my first meeting. I love it when a plan comes together.

Bariatric support group meeting last Monday of every month.  Next Monday, I'll be there.

Within a half a day, between putting out fires at work and talking to customers, I had put together almost my whole plan for meeting the earliest possible deadline.  The quicker I get through these hoops, the quicker I can schedule the surgery. Nurse Ratchit actually told me there is a lady who is approaching a year without getting all her paperwork in. A year? C'mon, she's gotta have some other issues. I'm lasered in on an April surgery date, so I am determined to get this done as fast as possible.

Just one more hoop. More quality time with my Customer Care contact at my insurance company.  I really need to think this one out before I  call there again. I'm determined to get Rajeeve and company to answer these questions completely and truthfully.  I guess I have trust issues too.

Check back soon!
JT