Final Deadline Set !

Friday, April, 19 2013

There's news .... again.  While I was sitting at my desk buttoning up the week, I decided to make a quick call to Dr. X's able assistant. Truly, I was expecting no update whatsoever.  But, I was a little pleased to hear she's had some dialog with the Howdowenotpay Company.  Apparently they have acknowledged receipt of the necessary papers to complete their final review. I was even  told that they told her it would be another five days for the review.  She reviewed her records and calculated that the five day period will end on Tuesday.  So we're looking at Tuesday for the final news. 

I'm starting to wondering if no news is bad news on this approval. Afterall, my former fat ass, semi- retired friend was approved in 2 freakin' days! But full disclosure on that. He was over 4 hundo and in a serious health situation.  I heard his insurance company was so happy that they wired the money the next day.  Ha.. kidding.  But that isn't to far fetched. As big as my ass is, I barely qualify for consideration for this procedure.  Go ahead and laugh all you want. But it's the truth.  If you recall, during my consultation, Trainer L put me on that fancy machine with the Harley handlebars. Somehow that contraption figured my body fat percentage was just over the minimum to qualify for the lap band. That was probably the only time in my life that I was hoping to be fatter than I actually was.  So fat ass ... yes. Surgical fat ass ... hopefully!

As the days of the calendar continue to pass, I'm really getting concerned about the timing of this surgery.  My plan was to have all this done by now and get on with my summer.  Obviously fancy dining, drinking and partying are at the top of my addiction list. But not far behind is golf. I may be crappy at it, but I am addicted none the less.  I have to guess that after Dr. X pierces my abdominal area in five places with a huge needle thingy, stuffs in the lap band apparatus through a little hole, moves my liver all asunder, and then finally attaches the food chastity belt to the top of my stomach, there will be a little recovery time involved. Even if I'm a "fast healer", which I have no idea, it's got take some time for my innards to unswell and my outters to seal up.  I don't want to end up having my pancreas or some other vital organ popping out one of those little holes during my back swing. I'm thinking that would leave a mark.

I promised myself that this year was all about health and that I would not obsess about my golf game. I'm still committed to that, BUT, as the weather gets nicer, it's really gonna be hard. My favorite days are sunny, summer Saturdays. A good round of golf and then off to the bar for a few frosty beers and some man banter. These are the days I live for.  And because I live in area of the country blessed with 15 month winters, these days come and go in a flash. Before you know it, you're ball deep in snow again. My window for non food enjoyment is very small. So here's hoping my time on the disabled list will only be a couple weeks.  I did ask Dr. X about this and he told me I'd be swinging a club in that time frame.  Let's hope he's right.

Finally, I have stuck to the pre-op diet prescribed by the bubbly Ms.K like a starvin' dog on a meatball.  I have lost a solid 10 pounds.  Some folks have asked me if I am going to count this loss towards my total.  I can honestly say YOU BET YOUR FAT ASS I AM!

Check back mid week.  Hopefully I can give you an update.

See ya!
jt