Yep, the Big 4-0! As much as I wish that was my current age, alas it is not. That ship sailed many moons ago, some where around the Bill Clinton no sex incident. But it is the number of unsightly pounds that I have shredded since I began this journey on April 9th. My deconstruction has been in full swing for 15 weeks. If we look back to my first appointment in January, I have been fully encompassed with this project for 7 plus months, over half a year. Time does fly.
Let's talk about what 40 pounds really is.
A 15 foot canoe weighs 40 pounds. FYI - My old ass would never fit in a canoe. The kids at camp always made me go in the big boat.
An average 3 year old child and a full size Soft Coated Wheaton Terrier each weigh 40 pounds. In case you're wondering, I did check. A strange kid or a lost dog was not wedged in my butt crack.
An average full size human leg weighs 40 pounds. Really? I think one of my legs is the average weight of a full size human.
5 gallons of water weighs 40 pounds. Did you ever try to replace the big bottle on the water cooler? They're friggin heavy. It takes 2 skinny kids in my office to change it.
2 car tires weigh 40 pounds. Wow. I've been wearing two radials around my mid section. My goal is to lose a whole set of tires .... and the spare. Yikes.
4 ten pound bowling balls weigh 40 pounds. Try carrying those up and down the stairs a few times.
Need we go on? It's mind blowing to me that this much excess blubber was attached to my paltry frame. AND I'm not even half way done! I still gotta lose at least a kid and a Chihuahua to hit my goal.
Remember the guy who said " I treat my body like a temple." That obviously wasn't me. I've treated my body more like an all night diner. Attached to a liquor store. Years of binge eating, binge drinking and party chasing have come back to haunt me. There's always a price to pay. Reminds me of that 70s era bumper sticker: "Gas, Grass or ass, nobody rides for free."
The good news is that I should hit the half way mark to my goal some time next week. If I average losing 1-1/2 pounds per week I should hit goal near the end of January. In the mean time, if your missing a kid or a Labrador Retriever, I'll bend over and give you look in my handy lost & found area.
Chow Chow!
Johnny
P.S. I see Dr. X Monday for another fill. I'm guessing he's going to take me up another 1.5 ccs. That will be a 30% closure on the band. Another new adventure.
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